|Posted by Matt on September 17, 2012 at 9:25 PM|
Any one who has psoriasis is very likely to have been in a situation that goes something like this:
You are at the beach. It is crowded but not too crowded. After having a good swim you stand looking back at the waves and soaking up the sun on your skin. There is a cough.
You look. It's a lady, middle aged, looks like her husband works as a lawyer or financial analyst or something, the kind that drop their kids to their exclusive school in a luxury 4WD that has never seen dust let along dirt.
'Yes, well I just um noticed your skin and I was wondering, well I have my darling children here and…well...is it infectious?'
'No. It's psoriasis, your not going to catch it.'
'Oh but your sure it's not ring worm then because my Roger had ringworm a year back and it looked just like that and I just want to make sure because our doctor said quarantine was the only solution and…oh but you said it's not. Ok. I'll got and tell the other ladies then, but you might want to cover up I mean it's an awful site isn't it.'
'As I said it's psoriasis. It doesn't hurt and I'm used to it. I'm not going to put a shirt on either because I'm sure quarantine might be the doctor's orders for ringworm but I'm also sure that salt water and sun are the doctor's orders for psoriasis.'
'Right. Ok then. Well thanks for answering my question. Bye now.'
'That's ok. By the way, can you point out Roger, I'll tell my family to stay away from him, I'm not sure he should be here really, having had ringworm and all!'
While I've embellished the dialogue a bit (well a lot) that situation is a real one from my own life. I've had a fair few like it and I've been trying to work out what kind of responses work best. These days I usually just say, 'That, oh that, well my skin is gifted, it grows faster than yours.' If your interrogator looks like they could be a comic book fan you could say: 'Do you know the Xmen, well my super power is fast growing skin. Cool hey!'
I used to be a school teacher and kids would often ask me about my skin. I think the best responses are: 'I ate too much chocolate.' or 'Well one day my mother said I should eat all my broccoli and I didn't and then…' After that I do tell them what the real problem is but it is fun while it lasts.
What one liners and replies do you use when you get interrogated by the public? Post them in the comments section.
PS. In case you're wondering if I'm just a very cruel man there was no Roger with ringworm who I told my family to stay away from. As I said, I embelished the dialogue more than a bit.